Marcia Newman

Psychotherapist, Conscious Aging Consultant & Author

Pressure Relief

While quietly sitting with two members of my support team, they recently asked me, “What’s your pressure”? I was pleasantly startled being asked this interesting question. Pausing briefly, I started laughing and blurted out,“ME…I’m the one causing my own pressure!”
Serene Spring Garden with Creek
Photo by Joanna Huang – Unsplash

To them, it was plain to see that I have been creating this pressured expectation of myself (and my partner) to keep pushing for a new home purchase in pricey Southern California.

What’s the good news? Since I’m the one that created this pressured expectation of myself, then I’m capable to create something different. I can choose some new improved thoughts and actions that will unburden this heavy home-grown load. Gratitude has a way of dampening the voices of urgency, victim, martyr, self-pity and entitlement.

It’s so important to identify what thoughts we keep thinking. And honestly ask ourselves, how do these repeated thoughts make us feel?

In fact, let’s do a spot check with your own nervous system*.

  1. If your digestive system could talk, what is it saying about your lifestyle and choices right now?
  2. What warning signs are you receiving that you may be in an over-exertion/exhaustion cycle?
  3. What areas of your life do you need to pump the brake pedal? Where do you need to apply the gas pedal? What do you think about putting it in neutral and coasting for a bit?


A good plumber knows the importance of installing a pressure relief valve. They also call it a safety valve. What about our own human body safety valve and applying it our aging process? Let’s take a deeper look.

The Boomer generation is enthusiastically re-inventing the concept of retirement. By Webster’s dictionary definition, retirement means “to disappear, to go away, to withdraw.” Nope. Not my cup of tea.

I’m heading towards my 65th year on this precious Planet Earth. My intention is remain engaged in life and offer my conscious aging work in a sustainable, enjoyable way. This is my current version of ‘retirement’. If one day, we have an opportunity to purchase a new home, that’s cool too. No pressure, required.

What about you? What’s your pressure? As you read this, take a breath. Pause.

Pressure relief often comes with letting go. Some would say Let go, let God. What do you need to let go of? Find whatever process helps you to experience real relief and not just numbing yourself.

True living isn’t about gathering trophies for struggling the most. In fact, pressure relief comes from walking away from pressured ideas, expectations and those nose-to-the-grindstone projects (either I’ve created or I’ve allowed others to rope me into). My vote is for more ease. It feels good to feel good.

Retired or not, are you ready to love yourself into a pressure relief existence? May we find each other there.

In support,
~Marcia