Slow Your Roll, Sweetie

Since childhood, one of my favorite people to talk to has always been… myself. Out loud. Of course, that wasn’t exactly encouraged. I got the message that this self-chatter was odd or “too much,” so I tried to keep it under wraps.

It’s a running joke at home. My partner, Jim, will ask, “Are you talking to me?” Three guesses. Even now, as I type this, I’m talking to myself—and to you—out loud!

Turns out, talking to yourself isn’t just normal—it’s helpful. According to Dr. Robert Kraft, PhD, in Psychology Today (August 2025), there are seven powerful reasons to engage in a bit of slower, solo dialogue:

1. It helps you learn. Talking through new material boosts engagement and understanding.
2. It guides you through complex tasks. Whether you’re assembling furniture or sewing a button, self-talk helps.
3. It gives you space to process. Speaking aloud helps us make sense of unsettling or novel experiences (of which the world has plenty).
4. It boosts performance. Positive self-talk can increase motivation—just ask athletes, dancers, or public speakers.
5. It soothes and supports. Gentle, loving words—especially after a mistake—help us self-soothe and heal.
6. It builds self-awareness. It helps us track our internal state and gently steer away from harsh self-criticism.
7. It opens new perspectives. Referring to yourself by name can help create emotional distance and clarity. For example, try asking yourself, “Why are you feeling this way, Marcia?”—using your own name, of course. You might also add a gentle, affectionate word like “sweetie”,  “sweetheart” or “dear one”, to make it more nurturing.

So, who’s speaking—and who’s listening—when we talk to ourselves? That depends. If you hang out with me long enough, you’ll hear about your Inner Family. We all have different inner voices: the encourager, the protector, the rebel, the judgy one. Learning to recognize and talk with these inner parts—out loud! —can truly be transformative. And yes, science backs that up.

So go ahead. Mutter away. The bees are dancing, and hopefully, you’ve got something worth saying.