A. No one arrives into adulthood in one piece. For a variety of reasons, parts of us remain stuck in a developmental cul-de-sac, while other parts grow to maturity. These “deficits in maturity” as described by Alan Godwin,PsyD, are personality aspects that became delayed due to earlier times. Many people have maturity gaps or a discrepancy between their chronological age and their developmental age. Most of us grown-ups still need to grow up in some area(s) of our lives. Symptoms of depression, isolation, anxiety and active addiction often mask the stuck, immature parts that need to be identified and developed.

Healthy pro-aging involves the integration of our our Civilized self (mature, wise, responsible elder) and our Uncivilized self (youthful risk taker, creative and beautifully untamed). One clear way to identify our stuck places is to look into our current relationships. Our intimate relationships (or lack of) can reflect our level of maturity and allow countless opportunities for character growth.

Are you already thinking about someone else’s maturity gap that needs fixing?! I know, it’s easier to focus on some one else’s immature, uncultivated part(s). But you know the saying if you spot it you got it. Are you avoiding looking at your own habits of negativity, worry or moodiness?
What are they masking? What area of your life is calling for more maturity?

I lean forward in my chair, open to 82 year-old Barbara Marx Hubbard share her wisdom. She is the President of The Foundation for Conscious Evolution, Social Innovator, author of five books and the subject of Neale Donald Walsch’s most recent book The Mother of Invention.

In 1984, her name was placed in nomination for the Vice-Presidency of the United States on the Democratic ticket and received over 200 delegate votes. At that time she was proposing a ‘Peace Room’ in the office of the Vice Presidency to scan for, map, connect and communicate what is working in America and the world.

On a recent Friday evening, a surprisingly small group of us gathered in Westlake Village to listen to this snow-white haired marvel. She is a fresh response to a culture that makes our wise elders invisible. Yet, Barbara has become more beautifully visible to those who have the eyes to recognize her mentoring gifts.

We heard concrete examples of conscious collaboration from her Santa Barbara neighbor and friend, Dr. Barbara Fields, Executive Director for The Association for New Global Thought (and an amazing self-proclaimed computer geek). For instance, “Meta Civics” (not your normal high-school civics class) is about citizen visionaries in compassionate service. Dr. Fields emphasized the impact of our local participation. “Omni-Local is Global”.

Together they spoke of our one living planetary body. Our systemic breakdowns require new systemic approaches that must be sustainable. We are birthing a new world and like any birth, it starts out messy. Even new forms of social governance are emerging which can include a less adversarial type of Democracy.

How can we each help birth this rising consciousness?
To me, it is a matter of practice. How present am I to each moment– each breath?
How grateful is my heart today (no matter what is happening on the outside)?
The heart of a Society is influenced by the hearts of individuals. When individual hearts continue to be fed, then New Vision can be birthed, nursed, soothed, clothed, protected and loved.

Barbara Marx Hubbard reminds us that we are in real time evolution (with no dress rehearsal). She is not proclaiming a fear-based message for 2012. Like many on the leading edge, she speaks from her intuitive glimpses, an energized message not pushed by pain but pulled from the Vision of hope, love and collaboration.

My intention for this tipping-point year is summed up in one word: COLLABORATION. To me, this is more than attempting cooperation or simply putting up with others. First, Inner Collaboration is an acute awareness of how I’m weaving my conscious will (ego) with that of this gracious life force. Outer Collaboration is then selectively linking with others who share their clear intentions, working together on a fun, common vision. Innate creativity grows exponentially from practicing inner and outer collaboration. The end result is more joy and hopefully, more healing of our planet.

To discover and share your intentions for 2012, join us for the Gifts of Pro-Aging™ Series.
“Your Vision for 2012 & Beyond”
What opportunities would you like to pursue in 2012?
Is there one word that sums up your intention for this year?
What important changes are you ready to make?
Who will help make the journey fun and inspiring?
What helpful habit are you willing to develop to support your vision?

Join Marcia for this collaborative intention setting event!
Saturday, January 14th, 2012
11 am PST / 1 pm CST/ 2 pm EST
This free public call will last up to one hour
Call In Number: 218-339-4600
Access Code: 640174#
To reserve your “Seat”, email Marcia@MarciaNewman.com
or leave your reservation request at 805-750-3759.

Wishing you and your loved ones amazing grace in this New Year!

Many of you may have already heard that my 82 year old Father passed peacefully on 11-18-11.
As difficult as it is to say goodbye to someone you love, grace has continued to show up. Never in my life have I felt such a wide contrast of feelings. Fortunately, in late October I was able to go back to Wisconsin and spend ten precious, vibrant days with him. In our talks, Dad was already preparing to drop his body. In fact, he gave us three months notice and by golly, he held true to that timeline.

The gift of Dad’s transition is helping me to face ‘death’ as I do so with my life. It allows me visitation to places beyond this physical plane. Dad’s essence remains in my heart and outwardly he manifests in the wildness of nature, especially in the hawks that keep appearing overhead. Or maybe those are buzzards??!
I can hear Dad laughing now.

Here we are bringing closure to this challenging year of 2011, filled with lightening-speed arrivals and departures. Sending you and yours safe journeys, love and joy during this holiday season.
~Marcia

Secondly, find and practice a simple and effective method of emotional release. It doesn’t really matter if six enlightened Zen Buddhists came up with the technique or not. What’s essential is that you use an emotional processing method (especially when you least want to). With the accelerated pace of what’s coming our way, it’s easy to be emotionally triggered by certain people and situations. Emotions that are acknowledged, honored, and understood will always come to rest more easily.

If you haven’t found a simple and effective emotional processing technique, you can borrow mine. I’ll be reviewing my simple body-mind based approach on my upcoming free call (on 10-15-11) along with other tips on self-healing (see details at www.marcianewman.com)
This will be my last free public call in 2011, so hope you can make it!

My story continues as I was on my way to receive a massage to help relieve the writer’s cramps in my fingers and back. Typically, I don’t schedule with a male masseuse because, well, it’s just too darn confronting to have him see “all my aging stuff”. But that day, ‘Tony the MT’ was scheduled into my life.
As I prepared to leave for the appointment, I passed by my cosmetic (vanity) table filled with all my cover-ups. Feeling great (except for the muscle cramps), I found myself heading out the door without a single stitch of make-up.

As it turns out, my massage pro-aging experiment was conducted by the most respectful, gifted-healer-young man (not to mention his killer music-playlist that smashes any new-age stereotype of what massage music should sound like).

Afterwards, I sat in my car in waves of gratitude, tears streaming down my face. In those moments, I realized I no longer cared how old my body is or how my face looked. I only wanted to feel this level of aliveness and appreciation. Then another remarkable thing happened. Knowing I needed to run some more errands ‘in public’; I reached for my purse which carries my mobile bag of make-up (always a back-up stash). Another moment of decision making—I paused and connected to my breath.

More realization followed; there was nothing more to cover up. Make-up was not going to provide me any more relief; I was already in comfort. Exhilarated with this increased freedom, I completed my public errands in a new fashion for this ‘come-as-you-are’ party!

Granted, I still prefer to wear make-up when I go out. Yet, something continues to shift for this 52 year-old.
My ego’s obsessive attachment to negative aging thoughts and how I look continue to be lifted.
Bottomline, if we allow ourselves to do this inner and outer work, amazing ‘shift happens’!

What really fills your core these days? Are you taking the time to be re-fueled by life? Are you having fun yet? As I’ve shared before, well-being is a necessity, not a luxury. I cannot do the work that I do, unless I’m grounded in something other than my oh-so-serious ego. One must feed one’s soul. There’s nothing more unappealing than the blind trying to inspire the blind. Certainly, I’m not void of my share of blind ego. It’s a daily practice for me, this inner and outer journey of waking up. Gratitude abounds as I continue to be able to work with others in this capacity. Thank you, my dear clients (and any friends and family held hostage here in blog-newsletter-land).

What’s the theme this time? One of my favorite lessons from the Course of Miracles states; When I am healed, I am not healed alone. Embedded in this blog’s message is the theme of our interconnectedness. May the travel bug bring sweetness to your summer journeys. Have heart, will travel. I look forward to seeing or hearing from you soon.

A. Before rushing off in her car, my neighbor informs me that she just received an emergency call from her 27 year-old daughter, asking her to come over right away. The daughter was just informed that her close girlfriend had died of a heart attack. Apparently, the young woman (who passed away) started having chest pains a few days ago, after receiving a ‘pink slip’ from her workplace. She was informed that her job was ending due to the company’s decision to outsource her position.

No doubt, added stress can and does kill people. No job or money stress is worth the ticket of a life. Obviously, sadness is a natural response to any actual or perceived loss. I teach a body-based, emotional processing technique that sees, acknowledges and honors each feeling that comes our way. In practicing this self-honoring process, most emotions will come to rest more easily. However, when sustained grief reactions begin to compromise body-mind functioning, pay attention. Unresolved grief-loss can increase thoughts of self-attack. It can turn into a full-blown declaration of inner warfare.

When this happens, it’s best not to go it alone. Unraveling the elements of grief and loss requires diligent monitoring and extreme self care, over time. If you or a loved one is experiencing uncomfortable levels of stress (including grief), reach out immediately to a qualified buddy, ideally a professional expert who knows the body-mind terrain map. To save time (and possibly your life), choose an experienced ‘grief guide’ who can deliver the necessary relief package. An experienced guide can teach you self-healing tools that help now and can continue to aide you for the rest of your life.

For an experienced example, my colleagues have written a helpful book on the topic of stress and finding practical solutions, The Inner Game of Stress: Outsmart Life’s Challenges and Fulfill Your Potential. Over the past five years, I’ve been working with the medical team–Dr’s Edd Hanzelik & John Horton along with Timothy Gallwey, who has produced a series of bestselling Inner Game books & seminars that have helped thousands of people find better ways to manage change. I’ve found their book has become a very helpful resource.

Body-Mind based healing is the compassionate art of feeling, listening and learning from our bodies.
For example, let’s use the act of crying. I experience tears as an instinctual and natural release to balance this precious human ecosystem. Tears, similar to perspiration, are the body’s wise attempt to cool itself, especially when our emotions begin to spill over.

How is your body speaking for you today?